A personal exploration of a more practical philosophy
(first published as an essay on vocal.media)
“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” ― William James
If you think about it, the implication of that quote is quite remarkable: if the stress in question is melancholy or depression, it implies we all have the power to alleviate that sadness by choosing another thought. It is simple and, of course, difficult at once. Takes discipline. Thoughts come and go like gangbusters, like lightning on amphetamines. And it’s a tricky practice.
All those who have weighed in on the subject say the key is to simply observe your thoughts as they arise and not assign judgment. Being judgmental is what the ego is ALL ABOUT! As long as the ego is exulted by giving it credence, it will keep you trapped in a world where you see yourself as separate from all that surrounds you. And that perceived separation is simply not accurate.
The next stage involves directing your desired thoughts toward what you want out of life, whether it is a positive self-image, change of jobs or a new career, a new love in your life, or whatever. Imagine what you want and keep your thoughts going in that direction with steady determination. Eventually your thoughts and your body must obey the power of your “directed will.” Every good advertiser knows this. That's why we are inundated with repeating messages drilled into our brains.
In trying to help others I find a connection to the Universe. What is most precious and revered to me is the passage of moments and the occasional opportunities for acts of kindness we are blessed to receive. The philosophy of service and universal love has formed the foundation of my identity. The truth is that sharing my life experiences and ideas in service to others is my escape from boredom. It is both selfish and unselfish. This perspective is an expression of the one word that sums up existence so perfectly: contradiction. See this Wikipedia.org definition:
You get the idea, right? It’s night vs. day; pain vs. pleasure; good vs. evil; yin vs. yang, matter vs. anti-matter, Trump vs. Fauci (kidding), etc. But using the abbreviation for “versus” doesn’t quite capture the reality. They are not in opposition because you cannot have one without the other. Of the few things that I am most certain, it is clear to me that to have good in the world REQUIRES the shadow of evil so that we may know the shape and color and texture of good.
So I ask the obvious: does it even make sense to spend so much of our lives, so many thoughts and so much hand-wringing desiring to have pleasure without pain? Does it not make our lives so much more miserable to bemoan the suffering we endure and incessantly ask the un-answerable question, “why me?”
It is my contention that love is unique among all the forces in the Universe: the more you love the more love you can draw from for sustenance. Love is a miraculous well that keeps full as long as you continue to drink from it. The love in my heart, given in service to humanity, generates more love and gives me the energy and strength I need to keep living and to continue giving love.
I'm not sure what happiness means to you (or anybody), but for me it means finding a semblance of peace in a swirling sea of emotions and conflict and trouble. In the last 10 + years, I think I have found a mental discipline that has helped me achieve it to some degree, most hours of the day. Just a few years ago I found out the approach has a name: it is a similar philosophy as old as Ancient Greece. It involves (but is not necessarily encompassed by) what's called Stoicism.
My approach is actually a mix of stoicism and eastern philosophies. It requires a better understanding of the nature of our power as human beings and a conscious rejection of some of what our society has taught us. It also involves a questioning of what we imagine we perceive.
An example: Imagine you're sitting in a large house with many rooms and many windows. You're sitting in the kitchen with your cup of coffee staring out the window at the sky. It is cloudy and dreary. The more you sit there, the more you start to feel down. So you get up and go make the bed in the bedroom at the opposite end of the house, but you notice that the sky is sunny from the window in that room. This cheers you up a bit! Which is true of the outside world? Is it dark and gloomy or is it sunny and cheerful? Both, right? But what it appears to be depends on which room you go to and which window you peer out of. Finding peace involves this understanding and learning how to (in your mind) go to the room that has a view that is sunnier. You are fundamentally NOT "fooling yourself" as critics of the "New Age" movements often say. You are actually learning to discipline your mind to focus on what you have or what is going well in your life. It is both simple and difficult, but it is an approach (you can think of it as gratitude) that has the potential to change your life.
We all have a tendency to go dark in our minds and tell ourselves things like "you're a loser," or "I can never win," etc. But our minds and our bodies are like children (or I should say more accurately obedient children?). They take direction from your consciousness. The key point is this: your consciousness can be (with practice) in control of your thoughts and you can decide what to think. And your emotions derive from your thoughts. That means, logically, you have some control over your emotions--if you want to step up and take control.
Choosing to love--in whatever ways fate makes them available to us--provides at least some respite from our perpetual suffering. It gives back to us the power that is, by birthright, ours and, at the same time, helps buffer us from the ebb and flow of society’s cruelties. I offer this observation from a journal entry in my college days:
Having said that...of course, our individual suffering and, writ large, humanity's suffering is a BIG deal! Here again, the inherent contradiction of life comes into play.
And so, after far too many years of a senseless search for meaning, I have reached a stage in life where I can enjoy a little pie slice of peace and tranquility by harnessing the unique power of the human mind. My new favorite phrase (at times I have to yell it in my head): “I decide!” If loneliness or the frustrations of life impinge on my island of peace, I turn my thoughts away from suffering. I decide where my mind goes. I have the freedom to focus on what I have going for me: my wife, friends and family in my life who love me and two adorable cats who love me. I have a job that allows for a simple life in a quiet home in a quiet neighborhood. I decide where my thoughts go. In short, I have endeavored to lay at the feet of the practice of Gratitude.
If I can do it, there is no reason you cannot join me. Together, we may discover clues to untangle ourselves from what we had always assumed was immutable: the heavy anchor of suffering.
John Jordan-Cascade
Photo credits
Pacific ocean in late afternoon
Photo by John Jordan-Cascade
Man staring out through a window | Courtesy of pexels.com
Photo by Mizuno K
